Fight Over Your Mum Jokes

February 19, 2009

So went out drinking after not going out for ages, and the night was fairly crap i’d say cept for 2 events. So angry though, the pubs stopped selling jager bombs. Now i’ll have to find something else to easily get drunk on…

So was in the nightclub and this girl jumps on the rail and leans over hugging my friend and swinging back and forth over rail. I’m just thinking…don’t fall.. then she grabs my drink and makes one of them girly “WOOO” screams. Then she falls off the rail onto her back and smashs my drink. I know what you’re thinking, just like me, I was appalled and saddened at my drink being smashed!

So we get hungry and head to the kebab shop, and outside is this guy yelling your mum jokes at this guy, and he’s taking it hell seriously till he starts yelling back. Then the guy gets to angry and punches him in the face, and some haymaker punches break out. The guy who was saying the your mum jokes is easily winning hitting the guy to the ground. Then the guy whos losing gets up and walks over and is like oh man, I’m sorry yeah bro and holds out his hand to shake it. The guy says “WHAT THE FUCK, YOU FUCKING MORON” then punches him in the face again. The guy then runs at him and he gets pushed back and falls over, then he decides to give up and leave.

Rest of the night was sitting outside kebab shop eating kebab while the workers of the kebab shop talk about the cool fight. Making POW noises.

Quite amusing I spose.


End of Year 08

December 31, 2008

Where the hell did the time go. End of 2008 already? Seriously? Weird. I thought I’d do my usual recap over the year. Well I released 8 games again coincidentally I said I was gonna release more then last year and I end up with the same. I don’t like it that I slacked and yet at the same time I like the fact it’s nice and even (Lol OCD) But All the scores overall improved over the others. So I have gotten better.

I’m in the works of like 3 games at once, one is a huge RPG with an amazing artist that I think will be fantastic but it’s going to take a while to finish. The other is “The Tower” which is closer to being done, should be done early january so look out for that. The other is half started but not sure if I’ll finish it.

Also when I finish 2 more games I’m going to California. Woo all the way from Australia to America. Very exciting. I might be working for ArmorGames which will be an incredible experience. At the same time I’m super nervous..I still feel like I wouldn’t be good enough, but they insist I would be. Oh well, I’ll see how it goes. Expect some awesome American holiday stories later. Though I can’t buy alcohol over there cause I’ll be underage….going from being legal here. Ridiculous!! however I can buy a gun…oh yay -_-

I was pretty angered when I found out this website had copied some of my games and just changed the graphics to port over the Iphone, but in the end it turned out alright after they were contacted and agreed to sell over the games and put my name on them. So now one of my games with be advertised on the Iphone.

Lately I’ve been starting to work more after I went through a bit of a break, I always felt like there was a bit of a block to me working, and I think I’ve finally figured out what it was from…I think it was just me being a bit lonely, like I know a lot of people, but I’m not really close with anyone. I really want a gf I spose… Anyways I’m kinda better now that I know what it was so it’s not so bad.

As I’m writing this I’m still deciding wether to go out for new years…yes, yes I know I should be going out, but I’m just a little over the whole going out getting drunk thing I guess. I still like getting drunk but I’d much rather be doing it playing a game with someone close, maybe even poker. I love that. I’m just sick of the whole pub/nightclub scene where you get there and look around and you do nothing but dance and perhaps TRY do a SHOUT CONVO in peoples ear with is a pain in the ass and you hope some fun events happen in the night. Then in the end you’re left with a hangover, don’t get me wrong I don’t regret any of the others and I loved them with the fun stories but for now it’s juts a bit boring…and the type of girls you meet out at a nightclub just arn’t the type I like.

I’d say it’s been a great year, the thing I’ve done the best I’d say is saved money. Which I’ll mainly be using for my holidays. I might even do a quick tour around Australia, and I could meet tons of people I’ve talked to on the internet for ages. Which will either be really awkward or really fun who knows!

Also on christmas I got a Wacom tablet and just been drawing penis drawings to people over msn mainly. Oh how fun ;)

Anyways maybe now I’ll go get some alcohol and get drunk and yell at people on the internet. Then perhaps wander outside and yell drunkily at rats and cars.

I’ll end with a screenshot of the RPG.

Happy new years everyone :)

sssssssssssss2


Shoe Escapade

November 29, 2008

Night started out as a game of Text hold-em poker with friends. We were each betting $30. I LOST T_T, but it was fun. During this I drank 5 can of UDL’s then we went to the nightclub.

At the nightclub I have 3 shots of “Orgasm” and 1 shot of “Afterburner” and I drink 2 smirnoff cruisers. Yep…wayyy past my limit now, I regret it. The mistake was having all the shots really close together. i didn’t do much to be honest. I’m really sick of nightclubs now I’ve realised. The drunk part is fun and the stories to tell afterwards, but the other 90% is just dancing and trying to get a girl which I’m terrible at normally let alone in a nightclub. My best assets are being funny, and in a nightclub with blaring music…you really can’t make decent conversation by shouting in someones ear.

So all your left with is your looks and your dancing skills. Yeah, I’m pretty much fucked then :)

Then all the shots kick in and I decide to leave, this is where things get hazy and my friend fills me in about later. I try to leave and they wouldn’t let me leave with the drink I had in my hand, and so I did the only logical thing to do. Yes that’s right I laughed at them and ran past them. So now I have a glass I don’t need….So I just throw it away somewhere.

I get a kebab and I’m so drunk that my friend gets a taxi for me and on the way home. I THINK I threw up, or i spilt kebab everywhere and he kicked me out. I had to walk the rest of the way which was like 30minutes. Got home and I couldn’t open the door, so I just bang on the door and sit down till my mum answers. Oops!

While I throw up a lot in the toilet. Mum asks where my shoes are, I tell her. I DON’T NEED NO SHOES FOR DANCIN! then sleep.

I wake up in the morning and yes my shoes are gone to my bewilderment and also my wallet….great.

Luckily my mums bf accidently found my shoes a few streets down on someones lawn, and my wallet in the letter box…I have no idea what my drunken self was thinking at the time. But I’m sure he had a perfectly good explanation.

I think I’ll have a break from going out…


Asian and Indian Helpline People

October 11, 2008

So my internet was dying today due to random stupid reasons of crap, and then you know what you have to do when you’re down to your last options….thats right. Ring a fucking helpline. About as much fun as bobbing for cyanide tablets.

Now even when you get a person that can speak ENGLISH they’re still a pain in the ass and take forever, it’s like service dumbed down for apes on heroin. You say straight out, ok look I’ve checked the wires and the lights are all on thats not the problem so lets move on. What do they say? No sir we must check everything properly. Now first. Is the power light on the modem green?

YES ITS FUCKING GREEN, I KNOW HOW TO CHECK IF THE POWERS ON!!

So you go through that boring shit and thats bad enough till they fix the problem by just resetting your fucking internet which is what they should have done in the first place.

But then, thats a good phone call. Then you get the people that have such a heavy accent that you wanna scream. You have to ask them to repeat everything 10 times. I’m not racist about this. Seriously, it has nothing to do with there race, it has to do with there voice. If you get a plain ol white english person and I can’t understand him either. I would be wishing his vocal chords into the fires of hell just like the rest of them.

Best option as people say? Just hang up on them as soon as you hear if they’re asian or indian, but then you have to ring up again, and again. It’s like playing lucky dip with telstra.

Oh you gots a number 3 out of the barrel? Ren U Gets RASIAN RACENT lololol

Fuck you helplines.


Old Guy

July 28, 2008

When we were up on holiday in Darwin. This old guy comes into the parking lot to park, he drives forward and sees a trolley at the end of his parking spot, he didn’t need to move it, but he gets out of his car and moves it anyway.

Then he drives forward into the parking spot and keeps going and hits the car parked in front….uh oh you moronic old guy.

He gets out, looks at his car pushing into the car in front and he then just walks off, he doesn’t even bother to move his car backwards to stop his car denting into the other one……My god.

F-A-C-E-P-A-L-M!


My Birthday

July 28, 2008

Woo I’m now 19. One more year of being an angsty angry out of control teenager, than I become a frickin’…adult..with…”responsibilities” Oh god. How horrible, what a cruel world.

My birthday was pretty crap really. 2 of my friends didn’t wanna come out cause they were going to a girls birthday the next day and didn’t wanna be tired. Gee thanks. The other 2 didn’t drink, and my other friend drank so much that he passed out before we even left, I tried to drag him out, but well, he wouldn’t have been very talkative.

Forgot my ID, so luckily I managed to quickly run in behind a huge group of people, did crap all in pub, told people it was my birthday just to get free drinks so I at least got something good there.

Went to nightclub. Danced Stupidly. Then I got bored….So i decided to entertain myself by standing up on the top rail above the dance floor and lean down and scruffled girls hair, so there hair got messy. They got really angry at this. I smiled.

Got bored, walked home alone with nothing but a delicious kebab.

Got to my room, threw up on the carpet and fell asleep. Oh yes, I am now 19.


Quit Work!

February 24, 2008

I quit my job at Coles. I’m a free man! horay. YES *Jumps in the air* *Does a backflip* Ok so I didn’t do the backflip because I can’t, and if I did I’d probably die….but you get the point. I went into work like usual, was working for an hour and realised I hated being there so much, and there wasn’t much point for me being here anymore. So I went up to the desk and said I’m quitting and left at the end of the shift :)

Sorry but no more work stories now :( We’ll all miss them.

Now I’ll be focusing on my games more for income and rummaging through peoples garbage. Both have there equal shares of satisfaction.

Oh and I also moved outta home with a friend and his gf. Pretty cool so far.


End of Year Ramblings, Stuff and the Future 07

December 4, 2007

Well here we are almost at the end of the year 2007. I thought I’d write up a long post on pretty much everything of the year and things to come. It’s been a pretty good year I’d say, a few things have happened here and there since it’s the year I’ve turned 18. Getting my license, finishing Tafe, going out a lot more. Just the usual teen stuff. Been a pretty good year for flash too. I’ve gotten 2 front pages and a daily first on newgrounds. Thats one more than last year, so I guess I’ve gotten better, yet Nodes still wasn’t good enough to compete with Draw-Play. Didn’t make it over a 4+ ( I managed to finish 8 Flash’s, within 12 months, hopefully next year I can start to pick up my game and release one a month.

Now that I’ve finished tafe hopefully I can get more games done because I won’t be busy at all, and I also don’t have a gf to take any time either…..yet anyway, I’m bad with showing emotion, I think I need them to make first moves :S I don’t know…I don’t really have any experience lol… and I’m just generally shy with girls…end up as just a nice guy…a friend….sigh.

My plans for next year are to get out some more great games. I try and make something different every time, I try change things up, it makes it more fun, though I’ll release a sequel here and there if demanded of popular games. I’m trying to get into multiplayer servers since even simple multiplayer games do so well, but it’s tricky and I still got a lot to learn in that department.

I’m so frickin’ fed up of seeing games that are exact copy’s of others with just some shiny new slabbed on graphics, it really pisses me off. They’re just hopping on the chain to make money, it’s pathetic really. The one’s that really annoyed me were the Tower Defence ones. Desktop Tower Defence, and a couple of others were the first to arrive on the scene then in the next month everyone made clones. DTD was good, the clones – Pathetic.

Whats the point of copying things? The scores still stay high it’s frustrating. The problem is, flash games are played by people really quickly so they don’t know the history behind them ect, they don’t know it’s been copied, so they vote high. It’s basically a problem that’s hard to fix. Every few years you can release the same idea with new graphics and no one really notices.

Also I started up The Eggcomic this year, which has had some medium success for the amount I’ve done. I’ll have to wait and see when I have a lot more done, I’ve been slacking lately in that department and must start to do some more. I usually think of heaps of jokes but they just aren’t suited to comics which is annoying.

The main thing I’m going to be playing around with also this year is ads on my site, if I can find the best ad sites and get it nicely set up I can make a decent income, then I wouldn’t have to get a proper job yay….and could finally quit coles (THE HELLHOLE!) The old version of my site cremationproductions.com used to have google ads which when I released Draw-Play was bringing in like $50 a day in ads, but google ads clsed my account saying I had fraud clicks which is bullshit, and I didn’t even get the money I made from it. So my trust for ad sites is pretty low.

This blog seems to get 500 views a day and has had a total of 100,000 views, not bad, I wonder how many of them peopel actually read anything. I’m happy with that. Basically I see this blog as more of an open diary, where I can write it up and look back on it in a few years to read my stuff, so that should be interesting. Also it’s to entertain people, and people that are just nosy into my life ;) I love when people leave comments too, so don’t be shy, just to let me know your reading.

Well thats about it I think for now, I know it’s early but I felt like writing this up now -

Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
:) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :)

Lots of love from your FAVOURITE GAME MAKER RIGHT? AM I RIGHT? yeah I so am.


Sarcasm

November 5, 2007

So lately I’ve been more of a….well….not nice worker to my customers when they annoy me. I used to roll over, smile and say sorry. Now I’m getting in more trouble because I’m standing up to them, I might even get fired at this rate :O we’ll see I guess.

I’m packing the lady’s shopping, and I drop the next piece of shopping in (Tomatoes) about half the length of your hand. Not very much of a drop, very very tiny.

Lady : DO BE MORE CAREFUL PUTTING MY SHOPPING IN, STOP THROWING MY THINGS INTO THE BAG.
Me : Ok.

I grab the next thing and put it into the bag VERY slowly, you can tell I’m being sarcastic about it.

Lady : Do you want me to call your superviser?
Me : Honestly, not really.

I finish her shopping, she goes straight to manager, makes a complaint, i get another warning, and life goes on.


Fresh Hate

November 5, 2007

Your games suck balls. They have so many fucking glitches they are nearly unplayable. Quit making flash games and do something more constructive with your time, because you suck and you have no talent.

ps. nobody gives a shit about your life, you don’t need a blog

I actually haven’t had any new hate mail for a while, finally I get a new one and it’s quite funny :)

Now excuse me while I go cry from this guys horrific insults.